here you come again
by soccerputte
Summary: I don't have good summary for this, broken up trying to figure out why and if there is a chance to get back together.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first multi-chaptered story that I'm publishing here, I have written some under a different username, that is all that I'm going to say.

Disclaimer: I don't own the OC or its characters that I have used in this, it's just for entertainment only when it comes to the song that this story is based on, I don't own that either, the song is _here you come again _by _Dolly Parton._

_Please let me know what you think of this, if you like it or hate it I don't care, just tell me what you think and if there is something that I can improve. The next update will come within a week._

**Here you come again**

_**Chapter 1**_

_Here you come again  
Just when I've begun to get myself together  
You waltz right in the door  
Just like you've done before  
And wrap my heart 'round your little finger_

Imagine this before you, you are the cool one in school, not just in the popular way, but you can keep yourself calm and collected in almost any kind of situation that you can think of. But there is one situation that turns you into a stuttering mess and you start to trip over your words and you can't find the right ones and sometimes you start to babble and besides all of these things you trip over your own feet.

In this situation you are the farthest thing from being your normal self, there is just one person that can turn you into this mess, and that person just so happens to be your ex and it gets worse now that said person is an ex and not the person that you actually are dating.

This description of a person is who I am at moment and wish that I could leave behind, by the way the name is Marissa Cooper and the person that is my ex and that turns me into this mess is Alex Kelly, who just so happens to be maybe one of the biggest geeks at school, I know it sound strange but she is cool in her own way and she goes her own way and doesn't take any crap from anyone.

"Alex Kelly!" Summer said, she is my best friend and the only one that knows who Alex makes me act and now she is calling for Alex, this is not good.

"Summer Roberts." Alex said and then she turned to me, and as she looked at me I could feel how the blood started to move up my neck and moving to my cheeks and I just prayed that it wouldn't turn too much red. "And Marissa Cooper."

"Hi." I said as I looked over at Alex, there was one thing that I kind of wanted to say to her but I didn't have the nerve to say that to her just yet.

"So?" Alex asked as she once again looked over at Summer and I and I knew that she was waiting for either me or Summer to say something to her but I can't say what I want and it was Summer that called Alex over here, so she is the one that has to talk, there is no way that I'm going to talk to her, I'm not going to make an even bigger fool of myself just yet I have the whole school year to do so.

"I know that you should talk to Coop." Summer said and she looked at Alex first and then at me, and she smiled, she smiled, and I knew what that meant, she was going to leave me here with Alex. Sure I didn't mind the fact that I would have a chance to try to talk to Alex.

"I think that you might be right." Alex said and looked at me, I still don't know why she is doing that.

"And I don't think so." I managed to get out and left before either of them could say something. Just so you know, Alex can't just waltz in to the same room that I'm in and think that she can make me fall all over her again.

I'm so happy that I managed to get away from my best friend and my ex but now they are alone together and I don't know what is going to happen there, that is bad, like really bad.

/

"Great." I said as I saw Seth, he just so happens to be my neighbor and he kind of like Summer, I can send him over to Alex and Summer. "I need to talk to you."

Seth turned around as he heard me and looked at me a bit skeptical, I have no idea why he is looked at me like that, I mean he is the only one here.

"Me?" He asked and pointed to himself.

"Yes." I said and walked up to him, why can't boys understand that they should come to you when you ask for them.

"you don't talk to me in school." Seth said as I stood next to him, it was actually more like in front of him, but never mind.

"I do now." I said, Seth can be kind of annoying if you know what I mean. "I need you to go and talk so Summer."

"But she doesn't talk to me." Seth said and looked at me like I was crazy. "She doesn't even acknowledge my present."

"don't worry about that." I said and nodded, I knew that this was a great idea. "She is talking to Alex, and I know that you know Alex."

I kind of forgot to tell you that, Alex and Seth are like best friends or something like that, they know each other, so that won't be a problem, and Alex would acknowledge Seth.

"okay, so why should I talk to Summer." Seth asked. why does he was he have to ask so many questions, I can't get him there soon enough. "I thought that Summer was your friend?"

"She is my friend." I said and sighed, Seth was almost a little slow at the moment, I don't like that. "And Alex is your friend."

"I know that." Seth said. "But Summer is your friend and Alex is your ex, so you know both of them there for you should talk to them."

"And the last part of that, Alex being my ex, is the reason that I want you to talk to them." I said and looked at him, I can tell you that I was about to beg.

"I can try." Seth said "but I can't promise that it will work."

"Thanks, that is all that I want from you." I said and left the boy, one problem solved for the moment.

/

If you didn't know this, I was the one that fell for Alex and not the other way around, like it normally is in all high school films and TV series, the geek or the more unpopular one falls for the cool and popular one, but nor here, I fell for the geek and I know that you would have too, don't try and deny it.

This is what happened of you want to know and I know that, I will tell you in short.

Alex walked in to the gym where I was sitting on the bleacher minding my own business, meaning me skipping out of gym. She walked up to the teacher and said something I have no idea, but she was wearing some kind of cargo pants, more like shorts and some hiking boots, she looked kind of hot.

After that she walked up to the bleachers where I was sitting and presented herself, with her name and the fact that she was going to arrange some kind of hiking trip, that I should go with her on. Me hiking not happening, but before I knew it I had agreed to it.

She just waltzed inside the room and swept me of my feet, I didn't like that but I liked her.

That is the way that she made me fall for her, I don't like it.

/

"So did you know that she had been hiking?" Summer asked as I drove her home after school, see I can't get away from her even if I try, my friend is talking about her.

"That is not news she is always doing that." I said and didn't take my eyes of the road. "She just thinks that she can walk inside a room like own it, and then expect me to fall down on my knees and beg her to take me back."

"Coop, not to take anything from you or anything." Summer said and looked over at me.

Oh I know what she is going to say, and you know what, I don't want to hear it.

"Don't." is all that I said to her, she ain't going to say anything to me.

"But that is what you are going to do." Summer said and smiled. "She can walk inside a room, just like she did before and she will have you wrapped around her finger."

"I'm not whipped…" I said, and that is the truth. "And why did she have to come back now when I finally feel like I have my life back in order."

"Coop, you are whipped or at least hopeless in love with her." Summer said. "And one more thing I don't think that she came back so that you would turn in to mush again."

"But she knows how I react to her." I said, I had to get the last word in this conversation. "And here is your stop, out of my car."

"Fine." Summer huffed. "But you need to think about this again and don't do anything that I wouldn't do."

"I'm going to figure this out and when that is done I will call you."


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2**_

_Here you come again  
Just when I'm about to make it work without you  
You look into my eyes  
And lie those pretty lies  
And pretty soon I'm wonderin' how I came to doubt you_

I was really trying to figure things out all of these things that were going on with Alex but somehow I couldn't do that. And I can tell all of you that it got worse after I had dropped Summer of.

When I got home, guess who was standing outside my door, if you guessed Alex then you guessed right. I don't know why she always has to show up like this. I know what I want to tell her, but I don't think that I ever will be able to do just that.

"I'm sorry"

"You are sorry? You don't think that it's a little too late to say that."

"I know that." Alex said and looked at me, crap, why does she have to have those eyes. "But I do mean it, I am sorry for everything."

"Well that is nice that you are." I said but I couldn't look at her, because in this second I knew that if I looked at her I would say that it was okay and that she was forgiven.

/

"Marissa, I saw that Alex was here earlier."

"yes, mum she was here." I said as I closed my eyes, I knew what was coming and I didn't feel like listening to that but this was my mother and she knew how to get under my skin.

"So are you…"

"mum, you do know what happened and why we broke up in the first place." I said, this wasn't something that I liked to think about.

"I know that but I talked to her mother and she says that Alex is changed and that she really is sorry for everything." My mother said and looked at me.

"I know that she had said that too me." I said in a small voice, I could feel how tears were starting to form in the back of my eyes. I hated the way that Alex had a hold of me still. "but she lied to me."

"I know that but sometimes a lie is necessary."

"I'm leaving." I said and left the house, I couldn't think about this anymore, and I know that you want to know what happened but that is something that I can't talk about.

/

A few days passed by and I somehow managed to stay away from Alex and I couldn't be happier about that. The truth is that I couldn't be happier about that.

"So have you talked to Alex yet?"

"Sum, you know the answer to that and I don't think that that I will any time soon." I said as I looked at over at my best friend as we walked to class.

"But you said that you would or at least try and talk to her." Summer said, and I just closed my eyes, I didn't want to talk about this.

There was one thing that was on my mind not just right now, but that been plaguing my mind ever since Alex got back, and that was what it was that made me doubt what she had said before and what she had done. What was the one thing that she had done to me that made me not want to talk or be with her. This was something that I couldn't help but to think about and I couldn't get my head around it.

"Ok, I'll talk to her after school." I said and looked at Summer, I was kind of hoping that she wouldn't say anything about what I just had said or that she would encourage me to really do so. I needed all the help that I could get because I knew that this was going to be hard for me.

/

I stood outside a door, I had knocked and now I was waiting for the door to open but as I stood there I was thinking about what I was going to say.

"Hi Marissa, I haven't seen you around in a long time."

"I know." I said as I looked up at the woman that had opened the door. "But who knows you might been seeing me more around."

"I sure hope so." The woman said and she gave me a smile.

"I was hoping that I could talk to Alex if she is home." I said as I looked and Alex's mother.

"You know her, I think that she is out somewhere." Mrs. Kelly said. "One of her friends had seen some kind of almost unknown bug or something, I don't really know."

"I understand." I said and gave the woman a smile. "You can tell her that I want to talk to her so that she can either call or come by."

"I'll do that." Mrs. Kelly said and looked at me and before she closed the door she added. "And you take care and I'll make sure that Alex call you or something like that."

"thanks." I said and turned around.

As I was walking home I thought that I saw a blonde that I knew. So I started to jog so that I would catch up with the blonde.

"Alex!" I yelled as I was moving closer to the blonde that was in front of me, the girl turned around and I could see her eyes and they were just as blue as the always have been, and in that moment I knew that she could almost say anything that she wanted and I would believe her.

"Marissa, I didn't think that I would see you again." Alex said as she looked at me, and it was almost like she was checking me out, her eyes were going up and then down my body, I didn't feel that secure when she was doing just that.

"I know but I wanted to talk to you." I said and closed my eyes, praying that she would stay so that we could talk.

"So just talk to me." Alex said like it was the easiest thing in the world but it wasn't that easy to talk to a girl that was my ex and even more than so, I might still have some feelings for her still but that I couldn't act on or talk about there was just so much that was going on.

"I don't really know what I was going to tell you." I started to say but I knew deep down what I wanted to say, I wanted her to explain to me why things had gone the way they did.

"Marissa, you and me both know that you know what you want to say to me." Alex said and looked at me, waiting for me to talk to her. I was after all the one that had wanted to talk to her.

"yeah." I sighed and took a deep breath as I was starting to talk to her. "Can you please tell me where things went wrong?" As I said that I looked down and I couldn't meet her eyes, because I knew what was going to happen if I did.

"I would tell you if I knew what had happened." Alex said and she sat down on a bench and I sat down next to her, just looking at the people that was passing by and I could see all kind of people that was happy.

"Okay, I understand that." I said and sighed. "Can you tell me why you lied and then disappeared?"

"that I can do." Alex said and looked over at me and smiled. "I thought that you would be happier without me and that your life would be easier with me not in it."

"But I can decide for myself." I said and looked at her. "I'm old enough to know what I want in my life, and you were something that I wanted to have in my life."

"You wanted, not want." Alex said. "And there is a big difference between them, to want something and wanted."

"I know that." I sighed this was going to be a lot harder then I had thought. "I don't want to lose you as a friend."

"you won't do that." Alex said and she took my hand in one of hers before using the other one to put a strand of my hair behind my ear. "I promise that I will always be your friend."

"Are you sure of that?" I asked and looked at her, but she didn't say anything, she just took me in her arms and held me. I had never asked her to do that, not now and not when we were together, she always knew what I needed in any moment in my life.

That is the reason why it was and still is so hard to let her go, but at least she was going to be my friend, that was a start both for me and for her.

/

I walked up to my room, up the stairs, just thinking about what was happening in my life. I could hear someone walk outside in the hallway and then there was a shy knock on the door. I wasn't sure if I had said that they could come in but the door was opened and Summer walked in. To be honest, she doesn't care if I tell her to come in or not, she just walks inside my room.

"So?" She said, and I knew what she was going at, she wanted to know if I had talked to Alex and how that had gone if I had done that.

"I talked to her." I said and place the pillow under my head, I had had it over my face at first.

"And…" Summer said, I knew that it was harder then I had thought that it would be, and at the same time she was going to pry until I talked to her.

"She is my friend." I said, that is what she had said to me, so that was the truth, there was nothing more that I needed to tell just yet.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3**_

_All you have to do is smile that smile  
And there go all my defenses  
Just leave it up to you and in a little while  
You're messin' up my mind and fillin' up my senses_

A week had passed by and Alex had been true to her word to me, she was my friend and she acted in that way. But it was all still hard for me, I knew that there was just one thing that she had to do and all of the walls that I had build up around my heart would collapse and she would once again be in that part of my heart.

"Marissa."

That is Alex, she is coming in this direction and she is wearing that smile, and she doesn't even know it.

"Coop." And that would be Summer, she is next to me and I know that she is trying to encourage me to talk to Alex or at least to invite the blonde over to us, but I'm not sure that is the best idea. And by that I mean that I'm not sure on how to act around Alex, she is acting like my friend and all of that, she says hi asks how I'm doing but that is not the things that I can do or at least not first.

I kind of need Alex to be the one that is establishing the contact between us and I have no idea on why that is. I'm leaving it up to Alex on how this is going to develop, at least for a little while, while I'm trying to figure out what is that I want out of this. If I want more than a friendship, and all she has to do is smile.

"Alex." I managed to get out as she walks up to us. "how are you doing today?"

"I doing pretty fine." Alex said. "So I'm going to miss my last class today."

"Oh, what are you doing?" I asked, that was one of the few classes that I had with Alex, I was kind of looking forward to that one but what can I do.

"I got this call from a friend, there is this unusually bird that kind of must have gotten lost or something." Alex said, she is going to be talking about her birds or bugs or what other kind of animal that she is being all obsessed with. "And I kind of want to have a chance to spot it so I'm leaving."

"And you are telling us this, why?" Summer asked, she has never understood this side of Alex and if I shall tell the truth so have I but she is my friend I need to be supportive of her.

"I was hoping that, Marissa would take some notes and let me copy them." Alex said and looked at me and not at Summer. Okay what is all of this about, why are they acting so strange?

"I think that I can do that." I said, and I'm not sure on why I agreed to do that. Who am I kidding, of course I know, Alex was smiling.

That smile is breaking down all kind of defenses that I have build up from the moment that she left me. And with that Alex left Summer and me here in school.

"I know that I said that you should talk to her and sort things out." Summer said and looked at me "but this is not sorting things out."

"What are you talking about." I said as I looked over at my friend a little confused, to me this was sorting things out and that was of course going to lead to me and Alex starting to hang out again and be friends.

"You are back in the old patterns." Summer said and looked at me like whatever she was saying was the most obvious thing in the world. "She will act the same way as before and you will let her."

"I'm not letting her walk all over me again." I said, and that was one thing that I was sure of, she will not break me again. "If it was you that was missing a class I would take notes for you, which are what a friend does."

"Yes, that is true but you aren't friends with Alex." Summer said, and I for one didn't like what she was saying, of course I was friends with Alex.

"Alex is my friend and I'm going to help her." I said and I was about to snap and that was never a good thing. Just count to ten and take a deep breath when you get there, I reminded myself.

"I won't say anything." Summer said, and I could tell that if this conversation was going to continue she was going to have a rage blackout or something like that in the near future and I for one didn't want to be on the receiving end of that.

/

I had taken the notes that Alex had asked me to take and I was now going to go to her house so that I could leave them there so that she could copy them. And after that I was going to go and talk to Summer, I for one needed her on my side and then she is my best friend so I would needed to complain to and to talk to, you know all the things that you need your best friend for.

/

"I'm sorry." Was the first thing that I said when Summer opened the door, it was for the better to get it out there before she was going to start up with her anger management issues that she might have, and don't tell her that I told you that she might have those. I want to be alive.

"That is a start." Summer said and smiled, I knew it, she couldn't be mad at me forever or even that long. "But we can't talk; I'm going to see Seth."

"And he is my neighbor and friends with Alex so that means that I'm coming with." I said this was a great thing; I was going to hang with my best friend and my soon to be next best friend.

"Marissa, just because Seth and Alex is friends doesn't mean that they are together." Summer said, like Seth would have any other friends that he would hang out with. "And for the record, you do remember that she was out for some kind of bird watching or something."

"Right." I said as I remembered that, why did Alex have to be that kind of nerd. "But maybe she is back."

"Coop, listen to yourself." Summer said and looked at me, she kind of looked sad, and I don't know why she was looking that way. "You are not over her."

"I'm over her." I said and tried to act cool about it when I said that. Okay so I can tell you guys that there might be some kind of lingering feelings like deep, deep inside of me, but that isn't something that Summer needs to know about or even Alex.

Both Summer and me was going over to the Cohens' house but I'm not sure why I was going there, I mean that just meant that I was showing Summer that she might be right when she said that I wasn't over Alex, but at the same time I feel like I should hang with Alex so that I can show Summer and the rest of the world that I am over her, her being Alex, and that she is my friend and nothing more.

How come that I always start to rambled in my thoughts when I try to explain to everyone that Alex just is my friend and nothing more, can you tell me the answer to that.

/

"Marissa!" Seth almost yelled as he saw me, it was like he was trying to tell someone that I was there. And I have no idea why he was doing that.

"Seth!" I said in the same tone of voice that he had used, it was used almost to mock him, that was the only thing that I could think of. And in that moment Alex came walking down the stairs and when our eyes meet she smiled that smile, and… crap, why does she always act like that.

I am over her; she can't tear down my defenses that I have built up around my heart to protect me from her. Whatever she is doing she isn't filling up my senses and one thing is for sure she isn't messing with my feelings. Who am I trying to kidding, she is messing with me and she doesn't even know about it, and that is bad. Really bad.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4**_

_Here you come again  
Lookin' better than a body has a right to  
And shakin' me up so that all I really know  
Is here you come again ...  
And here I go_

It seems like she knows exactly what to say and does to make me fall down on my knees and almost worship the ground that she is walking on. I don't like that, and the worst part for me is that it seems like I can't do that to her.

So all of the things that could go wrong when I was with Seth, Summer and of course Alex went wrong. I am as I have stated before the cool and popular girl in school and Alex is the nerd. The one that is so damn cute and looks so good and she would be the girl that I am if she didn't have her birds and bugs and all of the other things that might seem a bit creep. That is how hot she is.

She kind of has that body that everyone wants and it seems like she doesn't do anything to maintain that. Don't look at me like that, I'm not jealous of her, why should I? I have all the friends that I need and I can have anybody that I want.

No one has the right to look as good as she does, and here I go again with the whole rambling thing, can someone please stop me from doing just that. Where was I? Right, I was going to tell you about all of the things that went wrong when I was hanging with Summer, Seth and Alex.

As you could see, I kind of get off topic when I talk about Alex or I start to focus on the wrong things.

"So how was the bird?" I asked as I looked at Alex, see what I mean, I'm asking how the bird was not if she saw it or something like that, like she would know how the bird was.

"I don't know." Alex said and looked at me, and she was smiling, I don't like that, who am I kidding, I love her smile. "I didn't ask it."

"So you are trying to be funny?" I asked, and couldn't help but to laugh and I didn't plan on it, because what she said wasn't fun.

"I don't have to try." Alex said kind of smug, see there she goes again. "As you could hear for yourself, you are laughing that means that I am funny."

Think, Marissa, think, come on, come on with a witty reply to that. But my brain had chosen this time to not work. Well of course it would, Alex is here and she is looking all kind of goods. I can honestly tell you that I am about to cry.

"So…" Seth said as he looked at Alex and then at me, it was almost like he was waiting for something to happen, he is all kinds of creepy.

Alex just looked at him, like he was crazy and she waited and so did I , I think that we both were waiting for Summer to hit him, either on the arm or the back of his head. That was what she did when she thought that he was acting like a creep, and to be honest he can act like that at any time of the day.

/

"Coop."

"Summer." I said as I looked at my friend, she looked kind of scary and I don't know why. It was like she wanted to say something to me but had no idea on what it was that she wanted to say, kind of creepy but not Seth creepy.

"Alex is…" Summer said and I looked at her, waiting for her to continue on with what she was about to tell me but she stopped and I turned around and I could see, the blonde coming this way not that good.

"On her way." I said and smiled, and Alex came walking up to us, I closed my eyes, the smell from her was enchanting, hey, don't blame me, I don't know where that came from, it's the truth.

"Having a nice day?" Alex asked and looked at Summer first and then too me, it was almost like she wanted Summer to leave, that isn't a good thing for me, I need Summer here so I don't make an even bigger fool of myself.

"It's going pretty great actually but I think that I need to go and find Cohen." Summer said with a smile and started to walk away and I looked at her pleading with my eyes that she would stay, but I have no luck with that. "You two should talk."

"you are so right , Summer." Alex said and she gave my friend one of her famous smiles and now I am a mush of something on the floor, I can't talk to her when I'm like that. "So, Marissa, feel like hanging out with your friend today after school?"

"uhm…" Was all that I said as I looked at here, I'm not sure that I actually heard what Alex asked me, I could see that her lips were moving but what words they were forming not sure. "I think that can be arranged." That is a good answer right?

"perfect, so you can wait by my car after school and then we will hit the park." Alex said and smiled.

Okay what was it that I agreed on doing with her, please can someone tell me because I have absolutely no idea on what it's that we are doing and I have a feeling that isn't the best thing at the moment.

/

Alex and I were at the park when her phone or something started to go off, just liked it used to when we were dating and that was what in the end was one of the reason that we broke up at the first place when you thought about it, not the best thing. For me it felt like she was cheating but she never really was, I wasn't her first priority back then and this is going to be fun and see how she is going to react to this now.

"What was that about?" I asked, I had an idea what it was about but I wanted her to tell me, probably Jodie or someone else of her bird friends, telling her that there is this bird here that she needs to see.

"Just an alert about the fact that there is some kind of bird here that I haven't seen." Alex said and looked at me, now there was just one thing for me to do, wait for her to ask if we could reschedule this so that she could go and look at that and never see it.

And I waited but nothing happened she didn't ask to leave all of this was way to strange to me. All she did was to shake up all of me, that is the only thing that I know that she did but what it meant I had no idea. There must be some kind agenda behind the way that she was acting.

"You do know that you can go if you want too." I had to say to her, if she wanted to go then she should go. Because all of this felt like it was a bit of come here and then I can walk away from her side. And that was something that I couldn't deal with.

"I don't want to go." Alex said and looked at me and that was when I knew that there was something more that she wanted to get out of all of this besides friendship, and at I wasn't sure that I would be able to give her that.

"You don't have to say that." I said and looked her in the eyes before I continued on. "If you want to see or whatever it is that you are doing please just tell me, then we can hang out some other day or later."

"Marissa, what part of I don't want to go, is it that you don't understand." Alex asked and she kind of grabbed a hold of my shoulders so that I wouldn't be able to turn around to avoid any kind of eye contact with her. She knew better than I want to confess to myself and that is never a good thing.

"I understand what you are saying." I said and I did look at her in the eyes. "But I do remember that when were dating you couldn't get fast enough away from me when these things came to your phone." I finally had said what I had wanted to tell her for such a long time and maybe this time she could tell me why that meant.

"There is a reason for me acting like that." Alex said and then she looked down on the ground, this time it was her that tried to avoid eye contact, it was like she was trying to find away to tell me what reason there was behind her way of acting. "I was kind of afraid."

"Afraid?" I asked as she had said the last part, I couldn't understand what she was trying to tell me and I didn't just act that way, I had honestly no idea what she was talking about, what did she have to be afraid of.

"yes, afraid." Alex said like it was the simplest thing in the world and that it all would explain it all to me. "I just thought that it would be easier for me if I didn't get to close to you, that would mean that it wouldn't hurt as much when you broke up with me."

That made some senses but, there was nothing in the way that I have acted around her, that would give her the idea that I was going to break up with her. I mean I loved her back then and now, well I don't know but I know that there isn't one thing that I wouldn't do for her.

"But I was never going to break up with you." I said, I had to tell her the truth, and here I go again. "I loved you."

"Loved." Alex said, and she looked at me like she was broken in that moment. "Loved, not love." 


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5**_

_All you have to do is smile that smile  
And there go all my defenses  
Just leave it up to you and in a little while  
You're messin' up my mind and fillin' up my senses_

As I was walking around in the house in a pair of shorts and a tank top and my hair in a messy bun on the top of my head I couldn't help but to smile to myself.

"Marissa, you look happy." That would be my mother, and she is kind of trying to get me to tell her why I am acting like this. And I for one don't want to tell her that, then she will be on my back asking even more questions.

I think that you can guess what it is that is on my mind.

Alex.

That was pretty easy wasn't it, she has been filling up all of my senses ever since we got back from the park. That day were great in more ways than one, but I'm not going to tell you about them just yet. Because I'm not sure on what the meant for us.

I need to talk to Alex first about it before I can tell anyone else what is going on in my mind. Alex is the first one that needs to find out what is going on in my head as soon as I know myself.

/

"So I heard that you are all shinny happy people, now."

That would be Summer, if you didn't already figure that out, and I have no idea on why she said that. I know why I'm smiling but I don't know why she would have heard that.

Right.

"My mother told you." I said and looked at her, and know all I had to do was wait for Alex. If Summer knew, then Alex would know, that is pretty clear to me that my dear mother would have told Alex too or Alex's mother and she would have told Alex.

I don't know if I have told you this before but my mother and Alex's mother kind of have the idea that Alex and I should be together and that we are kind of meant to be together, I for one is not sure of that. But then again, there are days that I believe that and they are more and more now, and they happen most of the time when Alex is smiling to me.

You know what smile I'm talking about.

When she smiles that smile, she can always find a way into my heart and then break all of the walls and defenses that I have build up around my heart.

"Are you still here with me?" Summer asked, and she sounded a bit annoyed but I'm not sure, there might be this little thing about me spacing out when she was trying to talk to me.

Oops, I think I was doing it again, I saw that look on her face, and I was so sure that I wasn't spacing out.

Alex, has to leave my mind, right now.

"Sorry, Sum." I said and gave her a smile, I hope it didn't look to fake but what do I know. "I have some things on my mind that I'm trying to figure out."

"I can tell that." Summer said and gave me a strange look I have no idea what she is trying to get out of me. "SO when are you going to tell Alex that she can be your girlfriend again."

"I have no idea what it's that you are talking about." I said and I wanted to leave her there and then but I can never do that to her, she is my best friend after all and there are some things that you don't do to your friends.

/

"Marissa."

I turned around as I heard my name being called, and I saw Alex.

She was standing there, and she looked so beautiful and I was not sure on what I was going to say or do. She was smiling that smile and it messed with me, and all of the walls that I have tried to build up around me in more ways than one.

"Alex." I whispered out, and I don't know why I did that but it might have something to do with Summer asked me earlier.

"I know that we are supposed to be friends." Alex said as she looked at me with her blue eyes, and she was smiling. In that moment I knew how all of this was going to end and I hoped that she wouldn't hurt me again, if I let her in. The truth was that it was going to happen sooner or later.

But I had decided that I was going to wait a while before that would happen but I knew that this was the way that things would turn out. This was also up to Alex on how she wanted these things were going to do. All of this come here go away were messing with me and I needed to talk to Alex and hear what she was thinking and what she wanted to do. This was more than my own decision, I had learned that and I was proud of myself that I had gotten this far.

"That is what we had decided on." I said as I looked at her, and I could see that she was having a hard time with this, maybe as hard as I was.

"I know that." Alex sighed as she looked at me and she gave me some kind of smile. It wasn't the one that I loved and everyone else also loved, it was like she was hurting or something.

"But there is something that we need to talk about." I said as I looked at her.

I think that I and Alex both have some things that we need to figure out. I think that we both are messing with things that we don't really know anything about. It was like all of my senses were over sensitive, I could smell everything so much more and even food tasted better when Alex was around and still don't understand how all of that is.

I know that the human being have five senses and it's like all of mine are so much better when Alex is around, my taste, hearing, smell, sight and touch are just so on their toes so to speak and I wish that I had a great explanation to that but I don't and I'm not sure that I would know that answer.

"You are right about that." Alex said. "but before we do that I think that you need to get some rest so that you don't space out so much around me."

"You would like that." I said and laughed, I knew that Alex was right but at the same time I didn't want her to get too cocky, with all of this, that was a part of her personality and the geeky side, I know that it sounds strange to combine those two things but that is the thing with Alex, she has a great confident. I think that was one of the reasons that I fell for her in the first place, and I think that is the way we are going now again.

"And there is just one thing that I want to tell you before I go home." Alex said, and her smile grew and it was starting to go back to her real smile. A smile that I loved. "All of this is messing with me and I don't know what I can do about it."

"I know what you mean." I said as I had heard what Alex had to say, I couldn't believe that she was feeling the same thing that I was. It was like it all was a dream, and if it really was a dream, then I didn't want to wake up. She was here with me and felt the same things and we were going through all of the same things and I just loved that.

"So does that mean that I can kiss you now?"

I couldn't believe what she just asked me, this must be a dream, can someone please pinch me and if it doesn't hurt please don't wake me, because I'm not ready for all this to go away.

I swallowed some air, that was the one thing that I could do, I tried to open my mouth to talk but I couldn't do that, it was like I was a fish out of water, I was just opening and closing my mouth and no sounds, absolutely no sounds would escape my mouth. That had never happened to me before.

Okay, so the last part was a lie, it kind of happens on a regular basis when Alex is around and says all of these things that can make me speechless and I'm not sure that she knows what she does to me and if she does then why is she still keeping doing them.

I wanted to say yes, to her question, that she could kiss me but at the same time it all felt too soon. We hadn't really talked but I knew that it was the right thing to do but it was the wrong time. Why did she have to ask me? Why couldn't she just have kissed me? That wouldn't had been a problem for me, but now I have to give her an answer and that is the hard part. At least for me, and I know what she hopes the answer will be but I'm not sure that I can give her that answer. 


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter 6**_

_Here you come again  
Lookin' better than a body has a right to  
And shakin' me up so that all I really know  
Is here you come again ...  
And here I go (here you come again)_

I had been a week since I had really talked to Alex. I know that I wanted to talk to her, but I didn't know how to approach her. I was still having flashback to that conversation and the look that she had on her face after I had said that she couldn't kiss me at that moment in time

And I kind of hated myself for that, now I knew why I had said no to her.

I was afraid; I was a coward and hated myself for the way I acted around her. She had hurt me one time before and I didn't want to go through that again and that is the reason that I said no to her. That she couldn't kiss me. I didn't want to get hurt again but deep inside my heart I knew that it wouldn't happen again.

So I wished that I could be as brave as Alex had been ad go up to her and tell her to kiss me right there and then. That I didn't care who would see or what they would say.

To tell her that I still love her and that I want to be with her and that she can kiss me at any time she wants.

/

I saw Alex in school, and as always she looked better than anybody had a right to do. Why did she have to be so pretty and hot and beautiful and did I mention that she was hot.

All of this was making me shake in more ways than I thought that I person could but I still want her around me but I can't be in the same room as her.

"Coop, you should just go up to her and tell her that you want her." Summer said, I think that she had had enough of my complaining about Alex and my problems with the girl.

One more day passed and once again Summer told me the same thing, that I should man up and go up to her and ask her out, and also tell her how I feel but that is something that I can't do. I have tried, I was on my way up to her yesterday after school but just when I was about to talk to her, one of her friends had walked up to her and I couldn't walk up to her myself. As I have said I am a coward.

/

Here you come again, was all I could think when I saw that Alex was on her way towards me, this was going to be my chance to really talk to her and tell her what I was feeling and I hope and prayed to God that she would understand me and forgive for the way that I have acted around her the last week or so.

"Marissa." Alex said as she stood at an arm's length from me, if I just stretched my arm, I could touch her cheek or draw her closer to me so that I could hold her in my arms again, that was all that I wanted. To be able to hold her.

"Alex." I said, and at this second I knew that this was my last chance to tell her, if I didn't tell her now I would never be able to tell her and there would not be an us ever again.

This was my last chance, it was my decision, and I would win Alex now or lose her now. It was as simple as that.

"I don't know why you have been acting this way." Alex said, and I could tell on the pitch of her voice that she was mad, but she actually sounded sadder then anything, I hated when she sounded like that. "But I thought that we were going to be friends."

I wanted to say that she was right and that I had been an ass and that she deserved someone better but I couldn't talk, I was frozen there and I just waited for her to unload whatever she wanted to say so that I could tell her what I felt after that.

"And you have been acting like a spoiled brat." She continued on and "I thought that you had moved passed that part of your life. That is the reason that I wanted to kiss you."

And as she said that I realized that she might have a point in all of this, maybe I was the one to blame that our relationship had ended, that she had had a good reason for it to end. I have been acting like a spoiled brat and now I was back in those patterns.

I for one didn't like that and now when she was telling me all of this I knew that I was going to change and the first thing that was going to change was me growing up and telling her what was on my mind so that she would know what I felt for her and that I didn't want to be this Newport princess that I had been and that I wanted to a strong young woman that she could love and feel like she could be with forever.

"And I swear to God, Marissa, if you haven't heard a word of what I was saying just now because you were spacing out." Alex said, and that was the one thing that I needed to hear. "I'm not going to be your friend, you need to listen to your friends when they are talking and not just thinking about yourself all the time."

"Alex, I was listening to you." I said as I looked at her, I could feel how tears were forming in my eyes, I hated that she could make me cry like that.

"So tell me!" She yelled. "What was I saying? Prove it to me that you were listening to me!"

"You said that I needed to grow up and stop acting like a brat." I yelled, and if I'm honest that was me kind of acting like the brat that I didn't want to act like but I couldn't keep it in any longer I needed to let it all out.

"So you are going to yell at me." Alex asked and looked at me. "You do know that isn't mature?"

"I know that." I yelled. "But what can I do to make you listen, you were yelling too." This was absurd, I was blaming Alex for me yelling because she was yelling, she was right.

"Marissa Cooper, don't start with me." Alex said. "I have had enough of you right now. You better tell me what you want out of me because I know what I want from you but that isn't something that I will tell you until I know what you want from me…"

I knew that she had more that she wanted to say but I couldn't let her continue on. I just wanted this to be over with so that we could move on with our lives preferable together again.

And in that moment I couldn't control any of my actions, at first I had planned on telling her what I wanted but that wasn't something that I could do, the only thing that I could think of doing now was to throw myself at her.

And that was the thing that I did, I threw myself at her, I didn't fall in her arms, I grabbed her arm and dragged her against me so that I could do what I wanted to do to her. I wanted to kiss her but I was not sure if that was the right thing to do.

As we stood there face to face, our lips wasn't touching but I could feel the warm breathe that came from her mouth on my lips.

I didn't know what I should do, I wanted to close the small gap that was between us but I wasn't sure if I could do just that.

I closed my eyes and I picture my life with Alex in front of me and I couldn't help but to smile, and in that second I knew what I had to do. I closed the gap between us, I let my lips get familiar with the blonde's lips and at first she didn't respond to what I was doing and I was afraid that I had misread everything that she had done and the thing that she had said.

But before I could break the kiss she kissed me back and in that moment I knew that I could die happy. I didn't want this to end, not now not ever but we had to break our kiss.

Alex rested her forehead against mine and as she did that she asked me something. "Why did you do that?"

"I have wanted to do that ever since you go back ." I said and I was honest with her and I was proud of myself for doing just that.

"Why haven't you done it earlier then?" Alex asked and I had expected her to ask that and for once in my life I had a real answer to a question and valid answer. But with everything that was going on around us and between us, I wasn't sure that I could talk. "Please tell me."

"I was afraid." I said and as I said that she gave a small kiss on the lips and it was amazing and nothing would be able to get this grin away from my lips. "But I'm not anymore, because I know that this is the right thing for me and I don't want to be anywhere else."

"And I don't want be anywhere else too." Alex said and smiled and we just stood there and held each other just taking in the time that we had together and I couldn't help but to smile about all the crazy thing that I had done to keep myself away from just this and I don't know why I had done that because it was in Alex arms that I felt safe and loved and everything that I wanted to feel and I would love nothing more than to take one more chance with Alex and never give up on this.

"Here you come again." I said as I smiled at here. "Messing with all of my senses and tearing down all of my defenses."

"Are you quoting a Dolly song to me?" Alex asked as she heard me whisper some words to her, and I just smiled before giving her one more kiss. This was love to me.

"I might be doing that." I said. "But you know that you love it. And here I go again."

**The end**


End file.
